


For you, a thousand times over.

by thelittle_startrooper



Series: You don't have to say I love you to say I love you [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Dammit Jim, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Space Husbands, precious jim, precious spock, space is gay, this is so sweet it'll give you cavities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 08:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14281332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelittle_startrooper/pseuds/thelittle_startrooper
Summary: It's Valentine's Day on the Enterprise, and the crew is stuck in deep space. Jim surprises Spock, feels anxious, and is generally a cutie.





	For you, a thousand times over.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title is from the Kite Runner, which took my heart and smashed it.

February 14th sneaks up on the crew. It nearly passes unnoticed- at least, that's what it looks like to the majority of the crew. There are two people, however, who have been planning this day for months. Neither of them wants to mess it up for their respective partners. Jim is anxious. He isn't sure how Spock will react. There aren't really any surprises, unlike what Uhura had done for Chapel, but there's still a lot, and it might be a bit overwhelming. 

Jim's stomach drops and worry floods him. His old anxieties, old insecurities, they still come back to haunt him every now and then, but he's doing a lot better, so it's still a bit of a shock when those same thoughts threaten to drown him. Jim doesn't let that happen; instead, he carefully extricates himself from Spock, dons his uniform as quietly as possible, and sets part one of Operation: Make Spock Happy in motion. 

Part one is breakfast in bed. It's not logical, but nothing is with James T. Kirk, as Spock says. In fact, Jim is counting on Spock to comment on the illogical state of it all; he knows Spock is fond of Every Human Thing Jim insists on doing, and this is supposed to be one of them. 

Just as the replicator dings, Spock stirs, and Jim is carrying the tray toward the bed before he can stop himself. 

"Breakfast," he states, and pushes the tray at Spock. The Vulcan raises a single eyebrow. This is good. Jim stops a smile from completely taking over, situating himself on the bed. He waits, watches, and-  _thank god_. Spock takes a bite of the breakfast- a classic Vulcan dish Jim knows he's missed- and the giddy euphoria Jim feels is allowed to take over. A smile breaks out on his face this time. Part two is allowed to begin. 

Part two is a little harder. It involves being in public, and if there's anything Vulcans hate, it's any public display of affection. Jim understands why. It isn't hard to figure out if you're at all acquainted with a Vulcan, and Jim prides himself on being more than just  _acquainted_ with his. The amount of time they've spent together means that hopefully, this can't go wrong.

It starts out inconspicuous enough, with the Alpha crew on the bridge. Things are going fine. For once, there's no life-threatening issue Jim needs to deal with, no sudden collapse of anything, and that's good, that's fine. If Operation: Make Spock Happy hadn't been happening, Jim would be bored. 

Jim is glad his crew is self-sustaining. Chekov and Sulu make quite the team, and between them, the  _Enterprise_ moves smoothly. Scotty is more than capable in Engineering. There's nothing to worry about there. Uhura is the best Communications Officer and Linguist in Starfleet, and even though she's preoccupied with her own version of the operation, she is still doing her job better than most. This lets him focus on other things, for once, and Jim doesn't hesitate. He spins his chair around to face Spock; for a moment Jim is distracted, and instead just stares at his Th'y'la, before blurting out what is quite possibly the stupidest thing he has ever said;

"Let's take a walk on the observation deck, I feel like that is necessary and also a good idea."

Spock just stares at him. Jim doesn't blame him. The captain at least has the decency to look embarrassed, his cheeks flushing red. He's hyper-aware of every pair of eyes on him, and  _dammit Jim, you're supposed to be romantic, not hopelessly in love with someone way out of your league, get it together, god._ Jim tries his best to cover it up with a bright smile that he knows Spock loves. Spock goes along with it for now; they both know this isn't the end of the conversation. They get up, and silently move to the observation deck.

The entire trip there, Jim is freaking out. He's reviewing every possibility, every negative outcome, and he knows he's started to sweat. His hands are clammy. They're shaking- scratch that,  _he's_ shaking. Suddenly everything seems a little blurry, and his ears are ringing. Strange. Spock looks at him, concerned, and Jim does his best to smile. Every bad memory, every fear, every ordeal he's had to survive seems completely insignificant compared to what he's doing now. All he wants is Spock's validation, and if he doesn't get it- well, Jim won't think about that just yet. 

"Jim?" The voice is distant at first, then snaps into sharp focus when he realises who's speaking. Jim waits for a moment, breathes in, then out. 

"I'm okay Spock. Just... anxious, I guess." Spock raises an eyebrow. 

"In the case of anxiety, it is important to maintain a steady breathing pattern. This will regulate your blood flow and keep you from panicking. Should the event arise that you are unable to prevent panicking and thus do so, you will find that prolonged exposure to an activity you find soothing can be beneficial, and-"

"Thank you, Spock. Thar's helpful. I'll keep t in mind, but I'm okay now, really."

"If you insist," Spock says stiffly. There's a ghost of a smile on his face, and Jim swears he hears a chuckle. Jim shakes his head fondly as the turbolift doors open. They step out onto the empty observation deck. The stars twinkle out the window, inviting yet deadly, and Jim once again is reassured that this is where he's meant to be. He smiles, then turns toward Spock, who is looking out the window with wonder and admiration. To Jim, the emotions are painted clear as day, but he knows no one else would be able to notice. 

"Spock..." Jim's voice is soft, cautious. Spock turns, the movement as graceful as water drifting around a rock. Jim takes his hand, the shock of the bond warming him, egging him on. They look at each other, words passing unsaid between them. Jim swallows.

"Spock, we've been together for a year now, and since then my feelings for you have only grown. I know we've bonded, I know by all Vulcan laws we're married, but, see, the thing is... I wanna get married. The human way. To you."

Spock's mouth is open, and he blinks.

"You wish to marry... me?"

"Yes, was that not clear?" Jim knows now isn't really the time for teasing, but he can't help it. It alleviates some of the tension settling on his shoulders. The seconds tick by, and Jim is fidgeting. He shifts out of Spock's grip, gets down on one knee, pulls out the little red box he's been carrying all morning.

"Will you marry me?" The question is swift, simple. Uhura would be proud. 

Spock nods.

Jim's smile is beaming, bright, ridiculous, and all he can think about is that he's getting married. All his anxieties melt away.


End file.
